Two things happened recently.  First, a professor told me that he thought I was really brave to make the transition back to school (at my age was sort of implied).  Then I stumbled across this quote from E.E. Cummings:

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.

The thing is, I think they might both be wrong.  Rather than courage and bravery, I think it might first take fear.  Fear that you’ll be more miserable not making a change.  Fear that you’ll slowly die (creatively, intellectually, emotionally and yes even physically) doing the same job year after year.  Fear that the world will be missing something wonderful because you wouldn’t get off your butt and create it.  Fear that not changing will end up being harder and more difficult and more gut wrenching than the change process itself. 

Besides, can we really be courageous without fear?  Does it qualify as bravery if we’re not at least a little afraid?  Can we grow into what we’re really capable of doing if we don’t fear the consequences of not growing?   Fear is an impetus for action.

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Or can your fear

actually help you

move forward?

“There are few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.”  – Andre Gide 

I think he was on to something.  Occasionally, we find ourselves in over our heads.   Far more often, we don’t jump into the water because we’re too fearful of the failure monster. 

Which will you regret more when your ride is over, having gotten in over your head or not having taken the risk?

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Some things in life simply aren’t possible without failure.  Correction, most things in life that matter – the things we really want and the things we really treasure – these things are rarely possible without failure.  

Think about it, few people and few endeavors are instant successes.  Oh they may seem like instant successes, but that’s just because we didn’t witness the failures.  J.K. Rowling illustrated this nicely in her Harvard commencement speech (she also makes a great pitch for creativity for the sake of empathy).   

The point is that we really only fail when we stop evaluating why we failed, coming up with another plan, and trying again. 

Let’s resolve to be kinder, more patient, and more adventuresome with regards to our failures and the failures of those around us. 

Check out this Huffington Post article entitled “Raise Children, Not Flowers!” if you require any additional persuasion regarding the need to be kind after a failure.   

If you’ve recently failed and need to be reminded that you’re not alone, check out Failure Magazine.  “Failure magazine is the online publication full of humankind’s boldest missteps.”  You can even buy a T-shirt. 

Icarus Talks is a relatively new organization focused exclusively on failure.  Its tagline is “failure is most definitely an option.”   Check them out the next time you need some encouragement after a failure.

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Two things happened tonight.  First, I found out that I don’t suck at presentations.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m no Steve Jobs and never will be.  And I’m okay with that – there are other things that I do well. 

My point is that I thought I was absolutely terrible.  So bad that no one would want to voluntarily listen to me.  So you understand the magnitude of this revelation.  I also realized I need to stop telling people I’m bad at presentations.  I think it was a form of apologizing for subjecting them to my poor presentations skills – but no more!

Which brings me to the second thing that happened tonight.  I heard the phrase “risks weren’t that scary once you took them.”  More importantly, I realized just how true this phrase is. 

Think about it.  All the fear happens before you take the risk.  Once you’ve made the leap, you’re too busy fixing problems, coming up with solutions and generally too focused on the task at hand to have time to be fearful.  What a freeing revelation.  I’m going to remind myself of it next time I’m tempted to turn down an opportunity to give a talk or presentation. 

What risk do you fear?  What have you always thought you couldn’t do well?  Are you sure you really suck at it?  What might happen if you decided to end the fear phase and jump into the risk sooner rather than later?

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